You may not believe this, but I am shy. Seriously, I am. I trail my darling wife around at parties afraid to be on my own. Heck, I trail Bee around at kiddie events, nervous about being left alone with other adults. I am seriously shy.

There is one exception to that though. I love talking about design, which is what gets me through so much of life, especially Quilt Market and the like. I love talking about what I am working on, and hearing about what other people are doing. I could talk fabric design for hours and hours and hours.

In some ways I was the stereotypical professor. Find me walking across campus and I was like as not to be head down hoping not to bump into anyone (literally and figuratively), but put me at the front of the class and I could go, non-stop, for three straight hours. The thing is, I love talking about my work, but I hate talking about me.

This, leads to why I have been so bad about posting as of late. Back before I was officially doing anything I loved posting about what I was doing, no matter how small or whatever. I just liked talking about stuff. As I often say, Yay Stuff!!!

Now that I have stuff out there, you know, for sale and stuff I seem to be turning shy. Here’s another little secret, I hate self-promotion. I’ve had people tell me that I am good at it, but I think that is because I’m not really doing it. I like hanging out here in digital land, with people I respect and care about. I have a crap-load of fun on Twitter with the fabric & sewing crowd, and I learn a hell of a lot from them.

But then I have a line of fabric come out, or a new set of patterns, and I probably ought to promote it or something, but I go all shy. I love sharing what I am doing, but hate when it seems like I am selling. I really, really don’t like selling. I don’t think I could possibly use the word really enough times to explain how much I don’t like selling, especially myself.

Thus, I post less. I hang out less. I avoid the posts I want to put up just because they will probably seem like selling just because there is stuff out there to buy. Right now I want to blurt out all over the place just how much I love Flock right now, but I just end up being shy.

If I weren’t broke I would totally hire a publicist. But then I’d probably just feel awful about having a publicist and get even more shy. Ah, the vicious circles are everywhere…

I think I would have made a good ostrich…


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