Walls…

I know I haven’t been around much as of late; things really have been utter chaos, but that isn’t the only reason. Lately I’ve felt like I am doing all of this entirely wrong. Perhaps it is because I’ve never really been a crafter, or maybe it is the years of jadedness picked up from a life in academia, but so often I find the general vibe of celebration to be hard to maintain. Most of the time I just don’t feel particularly inspirational…

It often seems like the expectation for designers is to be ebullient about everything, to find beauty everywhere, to tread effortlessly through a creative garden. Instead I generally find myself banging my head against some wall or another willing myself to solve a problem. More often than not I feel kind of grim.

That’s not to say I don’t actually love what I am doing; it’s just that this is all work. It is rewarding, and at times it is fun, but it is a hell of a lot of work. I am lucky to have lots of work right now. I like to believe a day will come when I have more time, when I’ll either actually get good at this and things will come more easily, or that my life will simply slow down enough to let me do everything, but that is likely a pipe dream. For the foreseeable future it seems chaos will reign, at least in my working life.

The crazy thing, though, is that I wouldn’t change it. I love the slogging away, the banging at the deep stuff. I think I need to get back to writing here, but I am not sure anyone really wants to read about me banging my head up against a wall, whether that wall be proverbial or, at times, literal. I can’t imagine it would be all that interesting to see all of the bruises. Lately I’ve just been focusing on the walls that need banging against…

Yay walls!!!

-T

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