Old

Well, it’s finally happened; the AARP has found me. Yep, I’m now getting old people mail; next come the endless life insurance offers and then the scooters. I’m at the mercy of the aging business; I’m about to turn fifty.

Question: how does the AARP know about me? My age? My address? Do they just keep track of everyone? Their the real surveillance state. QAnon has it wrong (obviously); the AARP is running this show, picking of unsuspecting fifty-year-olds as the next members in their age cult.

And what’s with the free trunk organizer? Is that what attracts old people? Tidy trunks? I am so confused by all of this. It feels so predatory, but in the guise of kindly old men and women. I picture Wilford Brimley with a golden retriever or something assuring me that everything is okay and then selling me funeral insurance.

So, I’m going to stick with my existing memberships (totally not reveling what they are) and I’ll let this one pass. I’m not ready to retire, I’m not ready to buy my own golf cart, and I’m certainly not ready to be old.

Much love.

-t