I know I haven’t been around much as of late; things really have been utter chaos, but that isn’t the only reason. Lately I’ve felt like I am doing all of this entirely wrong. Perhaps it is because I’ve never really been a crafter, or maybe it is the years of jadedness picked up from a life in academia, but so often I find the general vibe of celebration to be hard to maintain. Most of the time I just don’t feel particularly inspirational…

It often seems like the expectation for designers is to be ebullient about everything, to find beauty everywhere, to tread effortlessly through a creative garden. Instead I generally find myself banging my head against some wall or another willing myself to solve a problem. More often than not I feel kind of grim.

That’s not to say I don’t actually love what I am doing; it’s just that this is all work. It is rewarding, and at times it is fun, but it is a hell of a lot of work. I am lucky to have lots of work right now. I like to believe a day will come when I have more time, when I’ll either actually get good at this and things will come more easily, or that my life will simply slow down enough to let me do everything, but that is likely a pipe dream. For the foreseeable future it seems chaos will reign, at least in my working life.

The crazy thing, though, is that I wouldn’t change it. I love the slogging away, the banging at the deep stuff. I think I need to get back to writing here, but I am not sure anyone really wants to read about me banging my head up against a wall, whether that wall be proverbial or, at times, literal. I can’t imagine it would be all that interesting to see all of the bruises. Lately I’ve just been focusing on the walls that need banging against…

Yay walls!!!


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11 Responses to Walls…

  1. 1
    Colleen says:

    From chaos came life…without it well no life no inspiration. I always seem my most creative when I seem to have no time to be.

  2. 2
    Jan says:

    You’re creative and a good writer. I think your readers will enjoy anything you write.

  3. 3

    I think we all at one time or another feel the same way… and not just one time in our life. We wonder if what we do matters… and yes… It surely does. Write… we shall listen….

  4. 4
    Chloe says:

    Not only do we want to hear about it, we need to hear about it. Those of us who aren’t designers but sew on the side are forever feeling inadequate about the whole thing in a variety of different ways – we need to know that the people we admire as “properly creative ” sometimes don’t feel its all easy too. Not that I want you to be miserable but if you are struggling with something you should totally tell us 🙂

  5. 5
    Dan says:

    the “general vibe of celebration” really can get oppressive. Hang in there and tell it like it is!

  6. 6
    Lisa says:

    I couldn’t have put into words better than Chloe above.

    All I would say is that you have inspired me to finish a project recently, and it made me feel very proud, so thank you.

    How does it go “nothing worth doing is ever easy”

  7. 7
    Laura says:

    Being creative isnt always about making pretty things and sometimes hearing about the struggle of another creative person and how they are approaching it can inspire us to solve some of our own creative issues. Besides, like my grandma used to say “A problem shared is a problem halved” I think that’s how it goes…

  8. 8
    Deborah says:

    You are singing a song I know well, friend. And if I have learned a single thing over the time I have been blessed to sew full-time, it’s that the moments when we aren’t trying to make things look rosy, the times when we screw up, when we make mistakes or just take a wrong turn–but then admit it and own it–those are the times when we tend to inspire people the most. When I have run out of ideas and think I’m pulling it out of my ear, that’s when the project is suddenly loved by twice as many people as when I work to figure out what those same people are looking for. So I say, let the walls do their thing, and assume that a hole will open up right when it’s meant to.

    See you soon, hugs for those of us feeling the chaos!

  9. 9
    Joseph says:

    People will read your blog because of who you are and how they can relate to you, and we relate more to the bruises than anything else. I’m not saying you should turn your blog into a diary of injuries, but it’s the struggle that make the success so meaningful and that’s a journey people will appreciate being taken on.

    • 9.1
      Maggie Magee says:

      It is refreshing to read your blog and know that you are like the rest of us that struggle to keep the creative going. Maybe struggle is the wrong word–sometimes it just seems that way as we trip and fall over ideas and at times–utter blankness until we can hold one up and say yep that’s it. Thank you Thomas for sharing with us! Maggie

  10. 10
    Barbara says:

    I don’t think I can say this any more eloquently than Joseph, but yes, the honest human feeling that goes into creative pursuit is one of the main things that interests me in a designer’s blog. The paste-a-smile-on-it method can leave me cold. Genuineness (sp?)is always more welcome, to me. And, as Laura said above, reading about another creative person’s dilemma (and how they approached resolution) helps me to process through my own creative roadblocks—as well as to connect with that person. Please, keep up your excellent work, as well as sharing it, and the process.

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